


Broken

by Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ace!Lucifer, Asexuality, Brief orgy scene (thanks Gabriel), Canon divergent from the end of S13, Family Fluff, Father-Son Relationship, Gabriel Being Gabriel (Supernatural), Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 06:48:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20578235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness/pseuds/Masterpiece_of_turkey_cleverness
Summary: After receiving a phone call from Jack requesting The Sex Talk, Lucifer feels as if he’s broken and can’t love anyone because he’s never wanted to have sex.  Lucifer teleports himself to rural Alaska to get away from everyone and engage in a cycle of self-pity.  There, he meets an Inuit hunter who gets him talking and ultimately tells him that there are other people who are like him.  This hunter turns out to be Raven in disguise, sent by Gabriel because the youngest archangel knows his older brother won’t listen to him.  Ultimately, Gabriel and Jack help convince Lucifer that he’s not broken and that they love him the way he is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Art by the amazing @WalkingDeadandSupernaturalAddict! You can find it below.
> 
> Betaed by the wonderful @WarlockWriter! I've picked up your habit of yelling at characters in comments...

Lucifer picked up his cell phone as soon as the opening bars to _Cat’s in the Cradle_ played, smiling; it was Jack. Lucifer hadn’t been asked along on Dean’s latest hunt, but Jack had; gaining the Winchesters’ trust was an extremely slow process. Lucifer kept that small injury out of his tone when he said, “Hi, son! What do you need?”

“Dad. I’m 99% sure that a girl here is in love with me. If she is, I need to know everything about sex. Go.”

Lucifer sputtered. “Wha--Jack...do you even _know_ this girl? When did you meet her?”

“Earlier today. But she told me she believed in love at first sight while looking at me with these great big googly eyes.”

Lucifer squeezed his eyes shut, and put his hand over his face. “Jack...I doubt she’s really in love with you. Plus, if you _just_ met her, it’s _way_ too soon for you to--”

“Okay, Dad. I understand. You’re uncomfortable giving me The Talk; that’s fine. I’ll call Dean. Love you!” Jack hung up, leaving Lucifer staring at his phone in horror. He wasn’t sure what was worse, the fact that Jack wanted to engage in sexual activity immediately after meeting some girl or the fact that he was asking a Winchester--no, not just ‘a’ Winchester, _that_ Winchester--for sex advice. 

_Then again,_ Lucifer thought, _it’s not exactly as if _I’m qualified to give sex advice…

He set down the phone, engaging in a familiar cycle of thinking. Lucifer was fairly certain he was broken. He didn’t _think_ the Cage (or the Mark) had done it; he thought his father had made him this way, but he supposed it was possible that it was a result of his incarceration. In being modeled after Chuck, angels were sexual beings, particularly when they spent time on Earth. They didn’t tend to engage in sex frequently, but over the millennia things tended to happen. Gender didn’t matter to them; ‘Brother’ and ‘Sister’ were just an acknowledgement of shared heritage, not an actual relationship the way humans understood it. In other words, angel ‘brothers’ and ‘sisters’ occasionally and sometimes even commonly had sex with each other: just ask Gabriel or Balthazar. 

Sure, some remained aloof from all of that--Raphael, for example--but most had had sex at least a few times since God had made them. Some were even permanently mated.

Not Lucifer. He wasn’t normal. The feelings the others seemed to have were alien to him. Sure, he could appreciate beauty--especially if your idea of beauty was multiple fiery wheels of eyes--but he never wanted to do more than appreciate from afar. The idea of sex, even just kissing, repulsed him, and he didn’t understand why the others seemed to want to do it. It was one more thing that held him apart from the other angels, one more thing that made him a freak like Sam Winchester. 

Yes, he had had sex with Kelly. He had needed to in order to maintain his cover. Plus, he’d thought, why not try it once and see what it was like? He had no desire to do it again. It wasn’t that it wasn’t nice, exactly, or that his orgasm hadn’t provided some physical sense of release; it just seemed overly complicated and messy, especially when you could just masturbate and feel the same way. Nick, long gone by now, had taught him that much. 

Lucifer was a broken angel. God had broken him--twice, no less, by leaving, the Mark had broken him, the Cage had broken him, and, apparently, he’d been created broken. Unable to...well, he wasn’t unable to _love_, per se; Jack proved that, but...unable to _romantically_ love anyone. Unable to share true intimacy. He’d never had someone special in his life to care for and to look out for him and never would, and that hurt when he thought about it. He’d had opportunities; after all, once upon a time he’d been the most beautiful angel, and back then he’d been propositioned but he’d always turned his suitors away. The Greeks heard the story and called him Narcissus, insisting that he was vain and self-absorbed. Was he?

Lucifer’s thoughts began to spiral deeper, so he got up, pocketing the phone, and started walking back to his room. No one would ever slide into bed behind him and wrap him in their arms to comfort him. There would be no one to celebrate the little joys of life with, or commiserate about bad days. None of those cute little moments that romantic movies promised everyone. 

What was wrong with him? Everyone else liked sex. Not liking sex was like...not liking to eat pizza. Weird. But as far as he was concerned, all pizza tasted like it had anchovies and pineapple on it (although he actually didn’t mind anchovies and pineapple on pizza; Gabriel had ordered one as a joke one day and he’d eaten a slice just to show Jack that it wasn’t as inedible as he’d claimed. The juxtaposition of sweet and salty was actually kind of nice.)

As he walked, he began to hear noise. Sam and Castiel were out working a second case, so it was probably coming from his brother’s room. Trust Gabriel to take a perfectly quiet bunker and throw a party in it. 

Lucifer thought back to that moment in the other universe when Gabriel had stepped forward, completely outmatched, willing to take on Michael alone, even though his attempt was doomed to failure. Lucifer had glanced at Jack, and had immediately changed his mind about what he was going to do. Determined to be a better father for Jack than God had been for him, Lucifer had stepped up next to Gabriel, archangel blade in his hand. 

Although they were both low on grace, they knew a number of tricks that AU Michael hadn’t--plus, it was two against one, and Gabriel had gotten lucky, stabbing Michael through the heart and ending the threat to this world and the other universe. After that, the Winchesters had reluctantly allowed Lucifer to stay in the bunker and be around Jack. Gabriel also had a room here, although he spent a lot of time up in Heaven trying to fix that mess. Lucifer only cared about Jack, now; his entire perspective on life had shifted now that he was a parent. 

The noises got louder as he headed for his room; he had to pass Gabriel’s room to get there. Making a face, he realized what the noises actually were. Of all the times for his brother to be watching porn… Lucifer puffed up his chest and headed for the open door, ready to read his little brother the riot act. Meanwhile, the noises became more intense and obscene as he approached. Wait a minute...he recognized that voice. No, voices. Dad damn it.

Lucifer was therefore mostly prepared for what he saw as he turned and looked into the room. There were...at least four angels in it; it was hard to tell from the tangle of arms and legs and wings. A familiar pair of golden wings was a notable part of the knot. The sight did absolutely nothing for Lucifer, despite the number of beautiful nude male and female vessels and angels on display in front of him. 

“DAD’S HUMAN CHILD! GABRIEL! AT LEAST SHUT THE DAMN DOOR!” Lucifer yelled over what sounded like a porno track. Glaring at Gabriel when the archangel poked his head out of the snarl, Lucifer slammed the door shut with considerably more force than was needed and then stalked back to his room, entering it and then slamming that door, too. 

He threw himself down on his bed, face-down. Trust his stupid little brother, who should be just as broken as he was, if not moreso, after what Asmodeus had done to him, to host an orgy on the day that Lucifer was having a mild breakdown over his sexuality. And of course the asshole had left the door open while he was doing it so Lucifer would see. Sometimes, it seemed as if his little brother would fuck anything that moved. Meanwhile, here he was, completely alone, and, apparently, that’s what he wanted despite feeling like shit about it. 

Someone knocked at the door. Lucifer didn’t respond; to say he was not in the mood was an understatement. Unfortunately, his little brother lacked social graces as well as the ability to keep it in his pants, so Gabriel opened the door and strode in without an invitation. Lucifer could only see him out of the corner of his eye, but he thanked Father that Gabriel had at least put on a robe, even if it was silk.

“Hey, big bro!” Gabriel had probably sounded chipper when Asmodeus was torturing him. “Sorry I didn’t invite you; I thought you had gone out with Tweedledee or Tweedledum. But you’re welcome to come join us. The more, the merrier.”

“No,” Lucifer growled into his pillow. “Not interested.”

“Not interested?” Gabriel cocked his head to the side and peered at Lucifer as if he were a different species. “Did you -look- at the vessels our brothers and sisters chose? ‘Cause, damn.” 

“I said I’m not interested!” This time, Lucifer rose up and roared at Gabriel, who looked a little stunned. Not able to take that look on his little brother’s face (again), Lucifer immediately spread his wings and vacated the Bunker. Hell, he nearly vacated Earth, heading up to northern Alaska where he could be alone with the birds, caribou, and wolves. He covered himself with his wings, leaving just a crack between them to peer through, and sat down on a relatively dry patch of tundra. Then? Then he began sobbing. 

What in the hell was _wrong_ with him? He felt bad, partly for not being interested in his brother’s offer, but mostly for how he’d treated Gabriel. He hadn’t meant to yell at him, but he was broken. Couldn’t his brother--the brother he felt closest to--see that? No one understood him. No one ever had. Not his brothers, not his father. He laid his head down on his knees and then clutched them to his chest. 

He had no idea how long he was sitting there; it was summer in the northern hemisphere, and the sun didn’t actually set this far north. He slowly worked himself into a deep depressive state, hating himself and then, in turn, hating himself for hating himself. At some point, he lay down on his side and stared out at the tundra. It wasn’t the best of ideas; birds were flying around and singing, attracting mates, plants were dropping pollen--hell, even /plants/ liked sex, and here he was, watching literally everything on the planet getting laid. Even the soil fungi, temporarily unfrozen, were reproducing, albeit with a few more genders than ‘normal’ organisms. 

It was beautiful, however. The pinkish-purple fireweed was in full bloom, as were a variety of wildflowers and all of the blueberry bushes. The blue-hued mountains were visible in the distance, rising straight out of the plain and seeming to go up forever, until not even plants could grow at the top. There was snow up there, too, even though it was summer. It was all straight out of a Bob Ross painting, except that the only happy trees were on the mountains, too far away to pick out. Only knee-high shrubs managed to survive on the tundra. 

Lucifer closed his eyes to block it all out for a while. Sometime later, he was startled to hear a voice come from right next to him. “You look like you need to talk.”


	2. Chapter 2

Snapping his eyes open, Lucifer saw an old Inuit hunter, face tanned and wrinkled, sitting next to him. The man was wearing mostly traditional clothing, a parka and seal-skin boots, for example, although he had a few modern accouterments such as the .44 rifle that he’d set down next to himself. Lucifer couldn’t believe he had managed to sneak up on the archangel. Not to mention… “Aren’t you wondering why I’m all the way out here?” he sputtered. He knew the man couldn’t see his wings, but that just made his presence odder.

“No,” the hunter replied. And that was it; he just sat there and didn’t say another word. Lucifer knew that people from northern Alaska tended to be economical with their speech, but still. He stared at the old man in disbelief. 

The hunter remained silent, but after some time pulled out some smoked fish and silently offered some to Lucifer.

The archangel shook his head. “No, thanks.” He was still trying to make sense of literally having gone to the ends of the Earth and somehow still stumbling into a human. At least, the being in front of him appeared to be human, although he did have a slight sense of ‘other.’ Sometimes that happened with older humans as they became closer to the spiritual realm, though. 

The old man nodded, and began to chew on the fish himself. As he was missing a number of teeth, this was the noisiest thing he had done since speaking. 

Lucifer lifted his head up off of the ground and stared. His first instinct was to smite the hunter so he could go back to being alone, but (a) he wasn’t sure he had enough energy to actually snap his fingers to do so, and (b) he’d promised Jack he wouldn’t do things like that anymore. While what Jack didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, in this case it was going to take too much effort. 

Finally, Lucifer let his head slump back down to the earth. What was the point, anyway? Who cared if some old human knew all of his troubles? So, finally, he gave voice to his deepest, darkest secret. “I’m broken,” he stated, with all of the gauche melodrama that he’d taught Gabriel to use in similar situations. 

More chewing noises. Lucifer glared at the sky. First, the hunter wants to talk, and now Lucifer had practically spilled his guts all over the tundra and it didn’t even warrant so much as a grunt in reply? Well, two could play at this game. Fuming, he resolved to say nothing more until the man had said something. 

He managed the silent treatment for about an hour before he broke. “Well?” Lucifer finally said sharply, in a tone that suggested the human would come to regret it if he didn’t get a response. 

“Well, what?” Finally, words Lucifer could work with. 

“You’re the one who wanted to talk,” the archangel pointed out grumpily. 

The man shook his head; Lucifer only saw it out of the corner of his eye. “Said _you_ needed to talk.” 

Lucifer was so smiting this man as soon as he worked up the energy to do so, Jack or no Jack. “So, what, I’m just supposed to sit here and tell you all about my problems, and then you’ll say some wise shit or something? Fuck off, old man.” 

Silence, except for the chewing. It was infinitely more annoying than an argument, and Lucifer’s wing feathers started to bristle. “Just go away, okay? I don’t want you here.” 

“Yah. But you need me here.”

“How the fuck would you know?” Lucifer snapped. 

“I’m an old man. We know a thing or two about things, sometimes.” 

“Yeah? What do you know about me?” the archangel asked. 

“You are in pain. You feel as if you don’t belong.” The old man thankfully stopped masticating the fish, and leaned back on his hands to look up at the sky instead. “It is the sort of pain that sometimes may be eased by talking.”

Lucifer didn’t have a retort; he just continued to stare up at the sky until his vision began to swim due to unshed tears. He’d already decided he was worthless; what did it matter if he explained and the old man made fun of him, or worse? 

“I’m broken,” he repeated, voice so quiet it was probably hard to hear over the birdsong. 

“You do not look injured,” the old man replied. 

“Not like that.” Lucifer heaved a sigh. “I’m not...normal.”

“Ah.” The Inuit hunter stared at the sky for a few more moments, then glanced at Lucifer and slowly asked, “What is normal?”

Lucifer didn’t have the energy to argue the point with him. “Normal people like sex,” he finally said. “We’re _programmed_ to like it. Hell, look,” he said, waving an arm out at the tundra. “Everything likes sex.”

“And you do not?”

“No.” Tears started to slide down Lucifer’s cheeks--as if this couldn’t get any more humiliating--but he couldn’t stop them. “N-never have. And yes, I’ve tried it!” He didn’t know why he was being defensive--the old man hadn’t said anything. 

The old man took a deep breath. “Fish swim, birds fly, mammals walk. This is normal, yes?”

Lucifer wondered what the hell the man was getting at. “...Yes?” He tried to avoid sniffling. Why was crying so inconvenient?

“But if you look over there,” the man said, pointing to birds in a distant pond, “There are grebes swimming.”

Lucifer wasn’t impressed with the biology lesson. “So?” 

“So swimming is normal for grebes, because they are grebes. Not liking sex is normal for you, because you are you.” 

Lucifer’s eyes nearly rolled out of his head; at least the tears finally stopped falling down his face. “That’s dumb. I’m an--I’m human, and all humans like sex, just like all geese or whatever like to swim.” Claiming he was human left a bad taste in his mouth, but there was little other choice given the situation. 

“That is not true. There have always been those like you. In some villages of my people, they are considered holy people, as they are above such basic needs. In others, they help to care for siblings’ children. In still others, they are encouraged to have an heir, and then they have fulfilled their obligation to pass on the family line and are free to do as they wish.” The old man spoke reverently, as if he treasured all of the different options and opinions equally. “Sometimes, unfortunately, they are forced to be what you call ‘normal.’” 

Lucifer lifted up his head, and stared at the old man. “There are...humans like me?” He had difficulty absorbing the rest of the information. 

“Oh, yes. I believe the term my great-grandchildren use, in between video games, is ‘asexual,’” the old man explained. 

“Asexual?” Lucifer actually found the energy to sit up this time. “That’s...that’s a real thing?”

“Yes. Perhaps you should look into it. I believe you can find more information on the internet. Sometimes it knows more about us than we know about ourselves,” the hunter told him. 

“...Thank you,” Lucifer replied simply. 

The old man stood up gingerly and picked up his rifle. “Thank your brother,” he said. “He figured it out. I’m just a messenger of a messenger.” As he leaned forward, his form began to shimmer and shift into something completely different, and a large raven took flight from where he had been standing seconds ago. It gave a few loud caws as it flew away, disappearing in the direction of the mountains. 

.oOOo.

“Done. You owe me now,” Raven told Gabriel as he landed beside him on a rocky outcropping about halfway up the mountain. 

“Don’t worry. The scientists will all be shocked when global warming doesn’t touch the lands of your people any more than it already has,” Gabriel told him, swinging his feet. 

Cocking his head to the side, Raven asked, “Why didn’t you just talk to him? He is your brother.” 

“He doesn’t listen to me,” Gabriel said, a little sadly. “I knew you could get him talking. And you did. Him being asexual makes so much sense; I should’ve realized it a lot sooner. No wonder he was so mad at me.” There was a short pause. “By the way, why’d you go the old man route? I thought you preferred young and dashing.” 

“I learned it from Grandmother Spider. If you want someone to listen to your advice, you’d better seem to have plenty of experience. He wouldn’t have listened to a young man,” Raven explained. 

Gabriel nodded. “Makes sense. Dad knows my older brothers never listen to me because I’m like a whole half a millennia younger than they are. Anyway, I’m going to have to start having my orgies somewhere else. Maybe Las Vegas. You in?”

The raven bobbed his head up and down. “I know people in that area.” 

“Okay, we decided on next Tuesday evening,” Gabriel told him with a grin. “I’ll send you the specifics.”

“I’ll be there,” Raven told him before winging away, cawing loudly.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/184412915@N08/48705502026/in/dateposted-public/)


	3. Chapter 3

Lucifer was initially too annoyed that he’d somehow managed to not identify Raven on sight to give much thought to what the other being had said. Once that wore off, however, he started to think about what the ‘god’ had told him. He concluded that (a) the ‘brother’ in question was probably Gabriel, who would know the other trickster gods, and (b) Raven probably had some idea of what he was talking about, given how ancient he was. Unless Gabriel was playing the world’s cruellest prank on him, of course, but Lucifer didn’t think he was.

That meant that it was time for an internet search. Lucifer flew back to the bunker, which, thankfully, was now empty. He went straight to the communal laptop and began his research, typing ‘asexual’ into the Google box thing. Sure enough, up popped a number of definitions, a Wikipedia article, and some resources. The archangel furrowed his brow and began to read through the webpages. 

Some of the information was downright shocking; according to these websites, almost 1% of humans identify as asexual. In a world with 7 billion people on the planet, that meant that there were approximately _70 million_ asexual human beings on the planet. Moreover, asexuality was not a simple category; there were demisexuals and gray-aces and autochrissexuals and more. Lucifer’s shoulders started to relax without him realizing it as he combed through the information. 

He eventually made it onto asexuality.org, read a bunch of the information there, and then struck up a conversation on the forums. His was just one of many, many threads asking the forum whether or not they thought he was asexual; of course, he used phrases such as ‘all my life’ instead of ‘for literal millennia.’ 

Surprisingly, some people responded right away, telling him that if he thought he was asexual, he probably was, and that it was fantastic he’d figured it out and found the website because now he had found a place where he belonged. Each time Lucifer’s mind came up with another question that started with ‘But…’ it was answered somewhere on the website or on the forums. It didn’t matter that he’d had sex before; he could still be asexual. It didn’t matter that he had a child; he could still be asexual. It didn’t matter that he could see beauty in people, or even acknowledge that they were attractive--he could still be asexual. 

Hell, he even found resources for how to talk about sex with your kid if you were asexual. He saved a bookmark and made a mental note to return to the site to look through those later; by now, he was more than a little exhausted and couldn’t process any more information. Instead, he closed the laptop down and made his way to his room to do some serious thinking. 

.oOOo.

When Jack and Dean returned a couple of days later, Jack ran over and threw his arms around his father. Lucifer hugged him back tightly. “Hi, son. How was the case?”

“I nearly got killed by a zombie!” Jack exclaimed happily. Lucifer locked eyes with Dean, putting exactly what he thought of _that_ in his gaze. The hunter paled slightly, though he didn’t lose his cocksure smile. 

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t, Jack. Now, what do you want for lunch?” Lucifer sucked at cooking, but Jack pretended to love everything he made--it was just one of the many, many things that he loved about his son. Plus, he was getting better at it.

“Can we have spaghetti?” Jack asked hopefully. 

“Sure!” That was actually one of Lucifer’s better dishes, since he got the sauce from a jar so all he had to do was cook the pasta and heat up the sauce. “Hey, come help me in the kitchen, I want to talk to you.” 

“If it’s about the sex, Dad, the girl didn’t really want to have sex with me. Well, not until after she killed me, anyway.” Lucifer blinked. Okay, maybe he should get the full story out of his son first. 

He settled Jack at the table and then started cooking--knowing enough to make plenty for Dean as well. Dean didn’t like having Lucifer around, but he never passed up food, either. “Why don’t you tell me about the hunt?” Lucifer prompted. 

He only grit his teeth a little as Jack told him about the teenage necromancer that got away and the zombie that they managed to kill. He _was_ going to have to have a serious conversation with Dean about using Jack as bait, though. 

Jack was only too happy to talk about how they’d finally managed to ‘gank’ the zombie, and by then Lucifer was getting out plates and utensils, although the pasta still needed a few more minutes to cook. Meanwhile, Dean had returned to the kitchen, clearly intending to claim his share of the food. Lucifer was briefly annoyed, but figured he could corner Jack in order to talk to him about sexuality--_and_ asexuality--later. He also made a mental note that he should say something to Gabriel, although he still wasn’t quite sure what.

Soon, they were all shoveling pasta into their mouths, and Lucifer was trying not to be jealous of the relationship Dean had with his son. He tried to tell himself that it was good; that Jack needed additional father figures/protectors, but it also kind of hurt that Jack looked up to the hunter so much. Jack also looked up to both Sam and Castiel, perhaps even more than Dean. Castiel still refused to speak to Lucifer about the time when he had possessed him, even though Lucifer had tried to convince Castiel that he had truly changed since then (although, in retrospect, suggesting he possess him _again_ to prove the point was probably a mistake). 

.oOOo.

Eventually, Lucifer found Jack alone in his bedroom. “Hey, son. I wanted to talk with you.” 

“Okay, Dad.” Lucifer loved the way that ‘Dad’ rolled off of Jack’s tongue. The nephilim was sitting cross-legged on the bed; he’d been reading a book when Lucifer had wandered by his room. 

“You wanted to talk about sex,” Lucifer pointed out. 

“Oh, yeah. But you were right, Dad, she wasn’t in love with me,” Jack replied, shaking his head. “Dean told me to wait, too.” 

“Well, that’s part of what we need to talk about, but you’re right, we do need to talk about sexuality,” Lucifer told his son. “This is going to be a little awkward, but there are things you need to know.” 

“Okay!” Jack never sounded anything else than enthusiastic; Lucifer loved that about him. 

“Well, first, it’s important to realize that human sexuality is complicated. There’s multiple facets of it, from whom you’re attracted to to whether or not you actually have sexual feelings. So, for example, you can be sexually attracted to the opposite sex, the same sex, both, or neither.” 

“Yup. Heterosexual, homosexual, bi- or pan-sexual, depending on how you want to label yourself, and asexual,” Jack counted the different sexualities out on his fingers. 

“...How do you know that?” Lucifer wanted to know. 

“Sam told me some, and then I looked it up on the internet,” Jack explained. “I’m pretty sure I’m heterosexual, but I’d be willing to explore whether or not I’m bi. Sam’s usually bi, but lately he’s been in an asexual phase. Gabriel’s pan. Dean ‘wants everyone to believe that he’s heterosexual,’ although I’m not sure what Sam meant by that.”

Even Lucifer knew what Sam had meant by that, but he wasn’t about to explain it to his son...not yet, anyway. “So Sam has already given you the Talk?” Lucifer furrowed his brow. 

“Oh, no, this was just Sam telling me how I should respect everyone, regardless of their gender, religion, skin color, sexuality, ethnic origin, ability status, and so forth,” Jack replied. “I still don’t actually know anything about how sex works.” 

“Ahh. Well.” Here, Lucifer was on slightly firmer ground, so he began to explain the mechanics to Jack, who nodded and didn’t hesitate to ask questions. 

Of course, there was a trade-off involved in Jack being so open about things. “So how was sex with my mom?” Jack wanted to know at one point. 

Lucifer mentally winced, not sure what he should and shouldn’t tell Jack. “Well...it’s...hard to tell, really. I hadn’t ever been with anyone before.”

“You were a virgin?” Jack asked, tilting his head to the side. “But you liked it, right?”

Lucifer actually winced this time. “...Uh, so, well, you know how we were talking about asexuals before?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” Jack said, looking confused. 

“Well...I think I’m asexual. I tried sex with your mother, but it...I didn’t really care for it much,” he admitted. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like your mom, because I did.” He held his breath, waiting to see how Jack would respond. 

“Oh, so, you were curious and wanted to try it?”

“...Yes,” Lucifer replied. 

“So you don’t want to do it again?”

“...Not really,” Lucifer admitted. “But lots of people are that way…”

“Dad, I didn’t mean that in a bad way--I was just curious,” Jack replied. “It’s cool that you’re asexual. Or that you’re not, if you decide later that you’re not. You’re still my dad, and I love you.” He threw his arms around Lucifer and hugged him. 

And that, Lucifer decided, was all he really cared about. 

.oOOo.

It was probably another week and a half before Gabriel showed his face in the bunker again. It was enough of a non-event for everyone else that Lucifer had no problem cornering his brother alone in the kitchen making hot chocolate (Castiel just didn’t know how to taste molecules properly; the rest of the angels tasted them just fine).

They stared at each other for almost an entire minute after Lucifer walked in. He knew he should start the conversation, but also didn’t want to. Gabriel, however, didn’t seem to want to help. Lucifer supposed he deserved that. So, he took a deep breath, and said words he really hated to say. “I’m sorry I yelled at you the other day.” 

Gabriel nodded, at least willing to give Lucifer that much. “Apology accepted, big bro. Sorry I bugged you about joining us; I didn’t realize you were Ace.”

Lucifer took his eyes off his brother and went about the process of making himself coffee, even though he really didn’t want any; it was just an excuse. He’d thought apologizing was bad, but it turned out that the next step was even worse. One more deep breath later, he added, “Thanks. For sending Raven.”

“You’re welcome. I just felt bad for upsetting you.” Typical Gabriel, Lucifer thought, coming up with a dismissively selfish motivation so he didn’t have to verbalize the less selfish one that they both knew he’d had. Of his four brothers, he’d always liked Gabriel the most. And with Raphael dead and Michael still in the Cage, Gabriel was all he had left. Well, Gabriel and Jack. 

“I never knew Dad made some of us asexual,” Lucifer admitted next. That was easier to say. 

“Yup. You and Raffie. Some of the other angels as well. Hell, I thought little Cassie was, until recently.”

“He lets you call him that?” Lucifer was surprised, and glanced over at Gabriel, who was smiling at him. 

“Lets is a strong word, but yeah,” Gabriel said, shrugging. “Don’t worry. He’ll forgive you eventually. So will the Winchesters. They forgave me, after all.”

Lucifer looked down at the floor, and sipped his coffee. He knew he had more to apologize for than just yelling at Gabriel the other day. “Gabe…” The words didn’t want to come out yet again, but he forced them out anyway. “I’m sorry. For the hotel. You know, back then.” He looked up in time to see Gabriel’s look of surprise. “I’m trying to change. I swear.”

Gabriel quickly assumed his more nonchalant persona, but Lucifer could tell that it still meant a lot to him. “I forgive you. And, hey, maybe we can help each other work to be less of a bag of dicks to everyone. But in the meantime, I told Jack I’d meet him for a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon in the man-cave. Wanna come?”

“Yeah.” Lucifer felt a tiny ray of hope that hadn’t been there before as he followed his younger brother through the bunker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on Tumblr @Masterpieceofturkeycleverness!


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